No Penelope
by StarletDreams
Summary: Disclaimer: I hate you and do not own criminal minds./ What if Penelope does all in her power to attract Derek, but Derek just...? Contains a bit of self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

Title: No Penelope

Summary: Why did you do this?, asked the boy holding the box in his hand…

A/N: So, I've been thinking about writing this a lot, so here it goes! Scene with tanning: Friends inspiration. Please review, it is the light of my life!

**Tanning**

"Okay, so we said, you're doing this because?" Emily asked not really expecting an answer.

"I just want to get tanned, and well it's not exactly sunny out there. So which is better; Chocolate Goodness or Crispy Caramel?" she answered looking at the magazine.

"What kind of names are those anyway? It's like a recipe book!"

"Come on, say!"

"Okay, PG, okay…. Chocolate Goodness will probably look better…" She sighed and heard Penelope squeal of excitement. This was going to be a long day. She wondered why she had even agreed to go with Penelope. Ah, yes because she had claimed they go out for A FREAKING COFFEE.

"Miss Gar… Garcia?"

"Yes, it's me!"

"You may proceed. " She followed the brunette lady and sighed when she realized that that girl was more his type than she herself would ever be. Nontheless, she to try.

"You enter that shower and stand towards the spray. Remember to close your eyes, nose and mouth. When you get sprayed you turn around. Now I will leave you. Have a nice tan!"

Penelope quickly undressed and went into the machine. While she was getting sprayed, her only thoughts were of how he would like hr after that…


	2. Chapter 2

**Working out**

The zumba music was banging through her ears, so she didn't hear him enter her oracle.

"Garcia!"

"Oops… Bossman, I was not- okay I was but- and you came here because-?"

"New UnSub, Garcia… Conference room now!"

"Okay…" Her blush reached down her chest. Lord could this man scare… he was Penelope's fear, knew it and took advantage of it. She ran to fix her hair and become as much presentable as she could. What the hell, she thought.

She went and sat next to the now empty seat standing before her.

"Woo, nice color!" JJ commented as she approached the table, coffee in hand.

"That's what I thought, the thing is, it fades away in five days.'

"Oh, you can do it again. Do you think one would suit me too?" At that, Hotch coughed.

"Let's get to the case."

"Yeah. Tania Smith, female 26, was found multiply stabbed to the neck and face and was found dumped outside and old school."

"Stabbing to the face indicates being personal. We will talk on the plane. Wheels up in 30'."

"PG, have you lost weight? You seem at least ten pounds down!" Emily commented.

"Well, I've been working out…" she answered with a blush.

"I'm sure once we land, Derek will notice.." JJ murmured.

"Oh, shut up… You know he won't…" She looked down disappointedly.

"Oh, he sure will!" her friends sat down and soothed her. This was going to be a long day…


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so I'm terribly sorry it took me so long, but I was having exams. So these chapters are awfully small, but the last one will be long enough, I promise!_

**Diets and more…**

She looked at the food, as if she was waiting for it to look at her back. She looked away on her computer screen.

"Perhaps if I just ignore it, it will disappear." She talked to herself. She immediately thought of the girls he dated, the skinny ones, the ones who just had bones. She looked again at her salad and decided she didn't need it, so she pulled the trash can and threw it in. Her stomach whimpered. She thought again of those girls. How beautiful they looked. Oh yes, he would never date someone like her if she continued to look the way she did. She was fat, she needed to lose more pounds quickly. She saw a plastic pen. That would do.

She grasped the pen and hurried to the toilet. She looked at it and decided that if she wanted to lose weight until he was back, she would have to purge. Purging it was then.

She opened her mouth unwillingly and shoved the pen inside it. She had the urge but nothing really happened so she decided to try again. And she did. This time she threw up. It was an awful feeling. But it was all for him, and if with that she would get him to like her, so be it.

She cleaned the pen and hurried back in her office. Nobody would have to know.


	4. Chapter 4

_Second chapter in one day! _

**Surprises**

When the plane landed, they all greeted their colleague, Derek Morgan. He gave Reid a brotherly hug and kissed the girls.

"Well hello my beautiful ladies!" he greeted them.

"Hey, Derek! Emily, can you call PG, check on her? She didn't seem too well when we left."

"Sure thing." Emily pulled out her phone and dialed the oh-so-famous number.

"Why what's wrong?" Derek asked concerned.

"It's nothing, she just wasn't in a good mood when we left her.. With all those changes and stuff.."

"What changes?" He interrupted her. Emily could practically see the light bulb on top of JJ's head.

"Oh, you haven't.. She just decided to change her looks a bit.." JJ answered smiling widely.

"What? Why?" Two sculpted brows furrowed.

"What do you mean why? "

"Hello my beautiful SSAs! Here comes before you the Queen, bow before me, and I might just spare your life." She said in an austere tone.

"Baby, why are you brown? What happened?"

"This my lovely hunk of a man, is called a tan. Anyway, I have new information on our victim. Tania was a member of a local library and when I checked her book list, guess what I found!"

"Garcia." The man was walking fear.

"Sorry. There isn't a single book! So I matched this to the evidence on the crime scene and bingo! Our victim used her library card to make a new passport. She was about to leave for France, where her sister and two children live."

"Thanks baby girl. And oh, we're talking about this when we land." Garcia's eyes widened and she nodded nervously.

"_Way to go Garcia" _she thought to herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Moving on with the case**

"Garcia, what can you tell me about Robert Fawkles?" Reid sounded a bit off.

"Well, my precious genius, he was a teacher in the school our victim was dumped."

"Was?"

"He died last year."

"Does he have any children?"

"He has a daughter, Lisa Fawkles, who has moved to the UK though and a son named Ryan Fawkles. Oh, this is interesting.. The boy was sentenced to two years for arson when he was seventeen, now he is twenty three, living in Paris. Give me a minute.. He visited Washington a week ago. He's still there, stays in Star Hotel."

"Okay thanks Garcia. Guys! We have a possible UnSub. Ryan Fawkles, Fawkles' son." He informed them about the rest while they were moving.

"Ryan Fawkles?" Hotch knocked officially on the front door. Suddenly a bum was heard and they saw a man running away, through the window. Morgan, being the fastest, ran after the man and tackled him to the ground.

The man was arrested and accepted his sentence, with a sick smirk drawn upon his face.

"Baby girl?"

"That man is sick, he, he.." Garcia put her head between her hands. "Why did he do this?"

"Because he's sick baby." Derek's voice soothed her through the phone.

"That's just…unfair."

"I know baby, I know. Are you still in the office?"

"Yep, I'm waiting for all of you."

"Okay I'll come in. I missed you."


	6. Chapter 6

_Well it gets a little bit angsty, but it just came out that way. Sorry!_

**Confrontation**

The flight to Quantico was weird. Emily and JJ were whispering the whole time and Hotch was staring at them suspiciously. Rossi was awfully quiet and Reid was not rambling. It all felt really weird to him. But one thing he knew was that he wanted to see her. All he had managed to see through the camera was her neck and face, and he was really upset she had tanned. It sounded kind of irrational, he knew, since he normally went for tanned girls, but Penelope was different. We wanted the original one.

The doors of the BAU were still open when the team entered, all tired, sleepy and quiet. He went up the stairs, to leave his bags and folders filled with paperwork in his office. When he entered, his office smelled of her. She had been in there. He grinned at the thought. Then he quickly ran to her office and knocked.

"The Queen of all knowledge is too tired. Bow mere mortal and speak fast." She yawned but remained having her back turned to her guest.

"May I enter my Queen?" She could practically hear the smile in his voice. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for his reaction. She smiled and turned.

"Of course you may, my Vision." She went and hugged him immediately. The moment his arms circled her waist they both knew something was terribly wrong.

"Uhm, you have left a box with your things somewhere here.. Oh there it is!" Her voice sounded really nervous. Somehow she didn't feel that much confident anymore.

"Baby, what is all this? Why have you gotten so thin?"

"I thought you'd like it.." She murmured, lowering her head.

"Honey, I liked you the way you were.. You were you. Now you're just somebody who tries to look like someone else. And I really don't understand why." His voice was firm; there was no sign of emotion.

"I just don't understand why you would like to be someone else, because the Penelope I love was always confident about herself. Why did you do this?" he asked, holding the box in his hands.

"You know what? You have no right to come and tell me what to do and what not to do. So just get the hell out." Her voice was trembling and tears were running down her cheeks.

"Baby-"

"GET OUT!" He turned and left, banging the door loudly. And she fell on the floor. Crying. Shuddering. Her thoughts were that as much as tried, she'd never be good enough. For him at least. She looked at her desk. There was a pen. So she got up, picked the pen, and ran to the toilet.


	7. Chapter 7

_A special thanks to all of the people who reviewed/alerted/favourited. _

**Once again**

This all was just too much. She couldn't take it anymore. She had tried everything for him and he had been ANGRY. How could he?

The drive to her apartment was slow. Unbearable. She pulled in, in her parking lot, only to find the all too familiar SUV waiting for her. She stopped breathing for a moment or two. Why was he there? Wasn't his previous statements enough?

She opened the door and threw her bag down. He turned his head from the television to look at her. More like stare. He stood up, as in slow motion, and opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by her.

"Derek what are you doing here? I think you made your points perfectly clear."

"Baby, I'm sorry, but this just..s too weird. This" he pointed at her whole appearance "is no Penelope! And I need her back."

She didn't answer. She just threw her arms around him and hugged him in a death grip.

"I love you.." He mumbled in her hair.

"I love you too, Handsome. Do you want to stay for diner?" The moment she offered, she realized what she had done. Her eyes froze with terror. How could he stay, when she couldn't eat? She was fighting this week so hard, and she would just eat and get all those pounds back?

"It's about time you asked! What do you want; Chinese or Italian?" Chinese is lighter, she thought.

"Chinese!" She smiled at him and he smiled back. He took the number from the piece of paper stuck on the fridge and ordered. She just hoped he'd leave her house fast enough.

When the food came, they both sat on the coffee table in front of the TV and talked.

"So why did you change colour?" he asked between mouthfuls.

"I just needed a change and I decided on this. Why, don't you like it?"

"Honestly? I liked my creamy white baby girl better." She suddenly felt like her whole body was on fire. But then a sudden thought crossed her mind; she needed to get rid of the contents of her stomach. She could feel the food being mashed in her stomach, all those calories being absorbed by her blood, all that fat setting in her skin.

"Excuse me Hot Stuff, I'm going to the loo. Don't miss me too much."

"Okay, baby." He pecked her cheek as she stood up to leave. She almost ran to the bathroom . She didn't have time to waste. She grabbed her toothbrush and stuck it down her throat. She emptied her stomach in the toilet, but what she didn't know, was that Derek was on the other side of the door, listening.

When she wiped her mouth and toothbrush and flushed the toilet, she went outside, only to meet a hurt and angry Derek Morgan. She immediately froze in her spot.

"D-Derek? What's wrong?"

"Garcia what was that? Are you bulimic? What the hell is wrong with you?" She wouldn't meet his eyes. How on earth was she supposed to tell him she was doing it to match the girls he dated?

"Talk to me!"

"I want to get skinny. I need to be thinner. I can't compete with all those girls you date that have legs like cigarettes and flat stomachs. I just want to be presentful, that's all. Are you happy now? Are you satisfied?" Tears were streaming down her face. Why did he have to be so goddamn attractive? If it weren't for him, she would still be the same.

"You know what? It is no use talking to you. You need help and don't you dare blame me fr the shit that you did." He turned and left. Once again. Soon sirens of an ambulance were heard.


	8. Chapter 8

_I'm so sorry for the late upload, my house is just under repair and I couldn't really get to my computer. On my previous chapter, I made an unclear point. So, yes, the ambulance was coming for Penelope, it was the help Derek mentioned. Have a nice read, and thank you all for the reviews/favourites/alerts xxx_

**The Encounter**

The sirens were coming closer. They were deafening her. Suddenly she heard voices. She heard her name.. Everything was moving around her. She felt weightless for a moment and the next thing she knew was that she was lying on a stretcher.

Inside the ambulance it was quieter. The only voices were from the doctors. One young nurse approached her. He looked handsome, but her vision was too blurry to be sure of that.

"How are you feeling, Miss Garcia?" The handsome nurse cracked a smile.

"Penelope…" she mumbled. The nurse smiled again. A beautiful, bright smile. Penelope had to admit this guy was hot. He could even compete with Derek.

"Brian. Nice to meet you Penelope. So you suffer from post-traumatic stress and possibly bulimia." Brian continued to rant at her while she was noticing his handsome features. He was really hot. Really, really hot.

When they reached the hospital, they put her in a room, too plain for her taste and informed her she would be talking to dieticians and therapists to help her recover.

"Are you okay, Penelope?" Brian asked, concerned.

"Do I seem like I'm okay?" she chuckled bitterly.

"What happened to you?" he asked concerned as he pulled a strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. A thud was heard and they both turned and saw a very hurt Derek, holding a firm position and a bouquet of beautiful white roses on the hospital floor. His lips were firmly pursed and his eyes were watery.

"Derek-" Penelope moved to go to him but failed.

"Save it." His voice was cold but he was hurt, she could see it in his eyes. He was sorry and he had come to apologize. He approached her slowly, closed his eyes as a tear rolled down his eye, and placed a tender and loving kiss on her forehead. He then turned and left.


	9. Chapter 9

_Okay, so we're going towards the end, I'm terribly sorry for the awfully small chapters. Adore you all :) _

**The Right Decision**

Derek was mad. How could she do that? As much as he didn't want to admit it, he felt hurt. Why would she choose that doctor or whatever the hell he was over him? Why?

He also felt guilty for leaving her alone to deal with it. He should have been there for her, shouldn't he? It was his duty as her best friend, and wanna-be-lover, to help her. But he had left her. Alone. He had just sent an ambulance. An ambulance including him. He felt anger bubbling inside of him. He didn't even know the guy's name and he already hated him, not that he was really interested in learning it. He knew all that he wanted to know about the guy, and that was him chasing his girl. Derek Morgan would never let that happen.

He got up and grabbed his jacket on his way out. But then suddenly he stopped. What if he found them together? He didn't have the right to step in if they were already an item! But then a little voice in his head made him rethink.

" Derek Morgan, you have not fought for this woman before because she was with someone else. Penelope wouldn't get in a relationship the first day she met someone, you moron! What's your excuse now?" He picked up his keys and hurried to the SUV. He would fight for her, no matter the cost. She was worth it, and he knew.


	10. Chapter 10

_I am so terribly sorry for uploading so late, but I was on vacation. I also had to write this twice because my other computer broke down. Please forgive me for being this late :(_

**The Beginning**

He didn't even realize he was walking –or actually running- to the hospital until he felt his back ache. These past few nights he had been sleeping in the couch and he really was developing a problem.

He got on the bus and kept tapping his foot on the bus floor. The rest off the passengers kept staring at him. But he couldn't care less. All that mattered was his decision towards Penelope. He needed to let her know.

The moment he stepped into the hospital he begun feeling bad. What if she and the doctor were an item? He was screwed for good then. But he had to try anyway.

He found her alone in her room, but what he saw was quite unpleasant and upsetting. Penelope was shutting down all the pieces of machinery she was connected to and gathering the few belongings she had in that hospital room.

"Baby girl-" She refused to turn around to look. She hated this. He was making her feel like shit and she couldn't have that.

He approached her and put his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind. She let out a weep and started crying loudly. She turned around and he put his arms around her again. He rested his head on her head. She smelled wonderful.

"Why am I so in love with you?" she breathed in his chest. He lifted his head and looked in her eyes, surprised. He then smiled, and the smile turned into a laugh. She laughed along. He then got serious and looked into her eyes again. He leaned in and felt her catch her breath. She closed her eyes and leaned forward. And then it happened. Magic.


	11. Chapter 11

_I'm trying to update as soon as possible, forgive me if I take too long sometimes. :(_

**Revealation**

Her lips were soft. Warm. They had a taste of coffee as he always guessed they would. He liked it. It was uniquely Penelope. Even if she had changed on the outside, he knew, she, Penelope, would never change.

He tasted of fatigue. She felt him. She knew him. He was tired of everything, even though he never admitted it. But she knew now, that he would never get tired of kissing her. He seemed hungry. His tongue had made its way inside her mouth, battling with hers.

Brian walked down the corridor, pleased, with a big, bright smile. He saw JJ, went near her. He high-five-d her and winked. She sighed, relieved. Then she jumped up and down excitedly, and Brian laughed and left. She caught his arm.

"Thank you Brian." She smiled with warmth.

"Anytime sweetie." He answered as he turned his back at her and left. She shook her head. She owed him one.


	12. Chapter 12

_This is the final chapter. Enjoy :D_

**The Help**

When JJ entered Penelope's room, after an hour of strolling around the balcony of the hospital, she found them both asleep, snuggled up next to each other. Derek was trying to take up as less space as possible and Penelope was holding onto him for dear life, her curls all over the pillow.

Hearing JJ's high heels on the marble floor, Derek turned around.

"JJ, what are you doing here?" He then saw Penelope lightly snoring next to him. He smiled softly on that sight.

"Should I say congratulations?" she smiled widely and Derek chuckled at that.

"Yeah, I suppose you should.." he said shaking his head. He heard JJ squeal in excitement as she came closer to him and grabbed his face between her delicate hands and kissed his cheeks.

"Aw, Morgan, I'm so happy for you two. It was about time actually!" He laughed at her excitement.

"What's happening? Did a comet fall?"

"Garciaaa!" She went and kissed her friend.

"JJ are you feeling okay?" Penelope asked concerned.

"I've never been better. I'm gonna leave you two alone and call the team to come and see you. Okay bye." She turned and left. She went at the front desk and asked for pen and paper.

"How are you feeling baby girl?" He asked lovingly. She just kissed him and felt her heart flutter.

When the team joined them JJ couldn't help but show her excitement. Everyone understood what was going on and congratulated the new couple. Reid was laughing awkwardly, Emily teased about getting Morgan babies soon, Rossi brought up some random Italian saying about love and Hotch flashed a smile.

When it was time for them to leave, JJ was the last to stay, to help Penelope pack her things, since she was allowed to leave now. Derek instead of helping, went to the cafeteria. When he came back he saw JJ lying on the chair exhausted and Penelope asleep on her bed.

"Oh, Derek, please grab my phone from my bag, I have to call Will." Derek reached for her bag but turned it over, causing her phone, keys and a folder to fall out from her bag. The folder had " To Brian" on it.

"JJ, Brian who? Are you cheating on Will?" He teased, never making the connection in his head. JJ's eyes grew wide. Derek was opening the folder.

"No, Derek you don't need to-" But Derek had already started reading the note.

_Brian, _

_Thank you for all your help. Without your help, I don't know if I would have managed to hook those up. And seriously, this job suits you. I hope you do well in medical school buddy. Thank you again and –just in case- don't you dare make a move on Penelope. She's all Derek's. Thanks again for helping out._

_Love, JJ._

"I think I'm going to go, Henry needs me-"

"You ain't getting away that easily missy." He retorted. She grabbed her things and left but before she closed the door, Derek called after her.

"Thanks, JJ." She just smiled, turned and left.

_I really appreciate all those loving comments I got from you. Thank you all so much for your love and support. I hope you liked it :) _


End file.
